A visual digest of my research 2012- 2017

[hillbilly]

So are there no opinions or reasons for the inclusion of pictures of body scratches? Shall I assume they were included for story enhancement?

[yowiedan]

I see these blobs in pictures I have taken over the years while Yowie Researching. I do look at them for a short period but that's about it. Paul, I have seen all your pictures here and a lot in my mind are just either burnt tree stumps or shadows. Also to enhance a blurry blob picture is just ludicrous, just like one of the other guys said are you enhancing it to make it look like a Yowie?

[Wolf]

So are there no opinions or reasons for the inclusion of pictures of body scratches? Shall I assume they were included for story enhancement?

(...crickets...)?

[hillbilly]

lol
I heard them too

[paulmcleod67]

So are there no opinions or reasons for the inclusion of pictures of body scratches? Shall I assume they were included for story enhancement?

HERE

https://youtu.be/7ZGvUpCccnc

[hillbilly]

Thanks. I have now become another "hit" on your you tube statistics. There has still been no mention of the source of the scratches. People commenting on the video are assuming they came from a Yowie. You haven't said that. Yet no one is clarifying this mis-info.
Source of scratches?

The lump of rusted steel that hit your foot. How did you come to find that? It was thrown at night, in a highly tense situ, with added confusion and fear from your partner. Did you pause to pick it up in the dark?

I don't mean to be a disbeliever, but the whole story, and situation, followed by your presentation including pics that look like blob stumps , that need to be enhanced to resemble anything worthwhile, all leaves me with more questions of validity. No offence Paul, but I don't believe everything I am told on the net.

[Wolf]

But it's on the interwebs... it MIST be true.

Seriously though... if someone is being genuine they should not take offence to anyone questioning thier story.

... especially regarding this subject matter.

[paulmcleod67]

Thanks. I have now become another "hit" on your you tube statistics. There has still been no mention of the source of the scratches. People commenting on the video are assuming they came from a Yowie. You haven't said that. Yet no one is clarifying this mis-info.
Source of scratches?

The lump of rusted steel that hit your foot. How did you come to find that? It was thrown at night, in a highly tense situ, with added confusion and fear from your partner. Did you pause to pick it up in the dark?

I don't mean to be a disbeliever, but the whole story, and situation, followed by your presentation including pics that look like blob stumps , that need to be enhanced to resemble anything worthwhile, all leaves me with more questions of validity. No offence Paul, but I don't believe everything I am told on the net.

Mate the answers to every question you have asked are already documented on this site. I don't want to make the assumption that you are trolling me but....?

viewtopic.php?f=45&t=3966

As for the video, I'm not interested in statistics or money (none of my video's are monetized anyway).

To save you a bit of time and to answer your questions...

1)Yes the injuries were incurred during the incident. The thing made a couple of swipes at me as I tripped and fell and I sustained the contusions.

The scratches were not that bad, just dramatic looking with the exception of one that sliced through a large mole. That got infected and is still an
ongoing concern as the mole is much bigger and I plan on having it removed.

2) I went back to the site some time later and recovered the artifact that had hit me causing me to fall towards the creature that left marks on me.

I wonder if you have similar critical concerns over Deans two attacks? Have you approached him over them?

People get attacked by these things and people go missing because of these things. My case is just an example and I hope others come forward with their experiences. I have always been open about the event and I try to answer specific questions. I have nothing to hide and nothing to gain
If you want to chat about what happened here is my mobile number...

0487317153

What more can I do?

Cheerrs

[paulmcleod67]

So are there no opinions or reasons for the inclusion of pictures of body scratches? Shall I assume they were included for story enhancement?

(...crickets...)?

(...sarcasm...)

[paulmcleod67]

To save you some time (again) here is what Dean had to say on the matter...


viewtopic.php?f=45&t=3966&start=30

" have absolutely no doubt they are responsible for many missing people. I was nearly one on two occasions.

It was only by the grace of God that I didn't jog down a bush track in Ormeau in June of 1997. If I did, I wouldn't be here now. That had bad intentions. And in the same week, someone else did go missing in the same location. All the found was his esky. A group of kids only just made it out with their lives at the same location a couple of months later. It returned to their hut and destroyed it. It chased a wood cutter back to his car. Then I had some members of the SAS pay it a visit.

Then at Kilkivan in 2009. After being knocked down, this one hadn't finished with me. It was only that the guys with flashlights got to me in time. I would hate tho think what I would have gone through if I was alone that night. Again, I'm certain I wouldn't be here now.

There's good and bad in most animals. I struck two very bad ones.

Again, I have no doubt people have been killed by them. And to find yourself in that position, believe me, is one of the most traumatic experiences you can ever have. There is no self defense. They are too big and powerful.

Having said that, their eyes being as sensitive as they are at night, a spotlight to repel them may force them back. But I had all the mental prep in the world, however when it came down to it at Kilkivan, nothing prepared me for it. All plans went out the window."


So at least I can show one other person that has had the guts to go public on this matter.

Cheers

[paulmcleod67]

Whilst on the topic of people that go missing under suspicious circumstances
keep an eye on this case recently reported to the media.


viewtopic.php?f=45&t=5395&start=60

Cheers

[Wolf]

Off topic but if you are concerned about that mole, get some 'Black Salve' to put on it.
I knew the inventor. He had been curing hundreds of people's skin cancers (including my own dad) and for his trouble got raided by the AMA.

The stress put him in an old people's home while he waited for his court case to come up (where I met him).

At his case hundreds of people turned up in support and the judge let him go.

I used the Black Salve on a 20c-sized mole on my scalp that kept getting bigger and blacker. Within 2 weeks it was gone, leaving new, clean skin in its place.

[paulmcleod67]

There has still been no mention of the source of the scratches. People commenting on the video are assuming they came from a Yowie. You haven't said that. Yet no one is clarifying this mis-info.
Source of scratches?

The lump of rusted steel that hit your foot. How did you come to find that? It was thrown at night, in a highly tense situ, with added confusion and fear from your partner. Did you pause to pick it up in the dark?

Simply an untrue statement.I have been asked before and I have answered in kind
here is an example from the coments section of the video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZGvUpC ... sqottbqh04

just82much wrote

f&$%! Imagine that chunk of steel hitting you in the teeth!? Or groin!? That yowie was a major a$?&@#e... Hope your foot is ok.. Did the massive scratches come from that bastard yowie? -Mark

My response was this...

"I was grabbed at after the tow bar part hit my foot but I stumbled and basically half fell towards it exactly when it grab at me... pure arsey luck on my part.It could have swatted me like a fly if it really wanted me that dead. If the iron had been thrown with deadly intent I'm more than certain it would have gone clean through me and embedded in what ever it hit after me.

I honestly believe that they wanted my fiancee and I was an incidental thing to deal with. The scratches were caused by what Id call talons rather than unkempt curled fingernails , The resulting contusions on the side of my body ran in one clean arc of three from my armpit to my upper thigh through a bonds singlet I dont remember there being any force behind the swipe but I had bruising around my ribs.

The grab at my arm was worse and all three (again) nails broke the skin but skidded (hopped?) across my arm like a rake. My shoulder is still toast at times ,no more cricket or tennis after that . My foot ...man that was the worst .I wished it was broken instead. The metatarsal join in my foot completely separated and the nerve was crushed. I almost screamed myself to sleep every night until finally the nerve died (a good thing)..

That was from a bubbled half swat at me by what I think was an old male. I have nothing and I mean nothing to compare the shear physicality to.
My fiancee saw the alpha at about five inches from her face from inside the locked in the car. I caught its shadow alone and never had eyes on it but my guess would be near ten feet tall and three feet across each shoulder. Mylene still wont discuss any of it and has developed night terrors.

Ive never publicly discussed my injuries since 2012 and have only posted photos of my foot in the last twelve months. I reported the incident publicly days after it happened. You now have the first detailed account of that here. Cheers mate."

I have no problem answering questions but please check properly before insinuating I'm avoiding or embellishing the account.

Cheers

[paulmcleod67]

Off topic but if you are concerned about that mole, get some 'Black Salve' to put on it.
I knew the inventor. He had been curing hundreds of people's skin cancers (including my own dad) and for his trouble got raided by the AMA.

The stress put him in an old people's home while he waited for his court case to come up (where I met him).

At his case hundreds of people turned up in support and the judge let him go.

I used the Black Salve on a 20c-sized mole on my scalp that kept getting bigger and blacker. Within 2 weeks it was gone, leaving new, clean skin in its place.

Thanks for the concern and advice matey.

I plan on getting it removed and a biopsy done on the tissue to eliminate cancer concerns my fiancee has over it.

Cheers

[paulmcleod67]

I don't mean to be a disbeliever, but the whole story, and situation, followed by your presentation including pics that look like blob stumps , that need to be enhanced to resemble anything worthwhile, all leaves me with more questions of validity. No offence Paul, but I don't believe everything I am told on the net.

OK, camera P.O.V is rarely as good as personal experience. my camera is an off the shelf, fairly bog standard handy cam, that is better than an APPPLE c**p phone camera by a large margin, still has huge limitations at distances beyond ten meters.

Video footage and photographic imagery does not and can never convey the full experience of being in the real place.
You as the viewer can't experience the smells, shifts in ambient bush noise or the specific tense feeling that a yowie encounter brings about.

I simply attempt to pull as much out of the limited imagery as I can. I'm no imagery expert and learning as I go.
I can't tell you how much swearing I do trying to highlight and convey the experience via limited capability.

My intention was, and still ,is to document my personal journey and my experiences as best I can to the public, but in my enthusiasm I seem to be alienating a community I turned to in 2012 for help and advice.

I have learned that unless I get crystal clear HD footage of a yowie nobody will take me seriously.

So from this point on I won't be labeling or enhancing anything in the footage I upload...in essence making them little more than tourist video's
of interesting terrain. I will try to be much more critical of what I get on film.

So I'm open to suggestions as to how I proceed, given that I've moved a great distance (from Sydney to Brisbane) to pursue this subject matter at the expense of being around lifelong friends and family, not to mention work.

Once again I will state that I'm not a scientist or even a naturalist and that I most certainly do not approach this as a reductionist.
I just want to document my experiences and hopefully raise public awareness of a potential danger that is not made evident to mom and dad bushwalkers
and tree changers from city environments whom are completely unaware of this phenomenon.

So I suppose after almost one year at it full time....I can only get better in the way I submit to the public domain.

No more obscure photo enhancements? No problem.

Next?

Cheers

[hillbilly]

Thanks Paul, I have no questions for Dean with his accounts. If I saw some areas of concern I would raise my questions to him. His description was complete. It needed no pictures or add ons later.
I am not a sceptic, as I frequent a bush cabin where there have been wood knocks, night whistling, trees pushed, thunderous growls, and assorted weird things. (I will only post details when I have a good story to tell) But never anything violent. That is why I was concerned that the encounter may have turned violent due to your own combined reactions. Just a theory.
Your initial account included the following...
"......Having had a previous encounter with what is known as a
yowie I got out of the car and told my fiancée to close and lock the doors and to then remove the
baggage from the drivers and passengers seats. As I did so the knocking grew louder and closer.
I asked my fiancée to hand me a knife and a digital camera which had a powerful flash. As she moved
the bags I walked the perimeter of the parking bay with the flashlight pointed towards the knocking
sounds, which stopped again as I did so. Just then I heard a guttural semi conversation followed by a
very loud growling yell, the like of which I have never. Then two stones were thrown at me one hitting
my leg with a great deal of force. This in fact made me very angry and I copied the growling noise and
yelled back at the shadowy menace. I was more afraid for my fiancée thinking to myself that if these
things were male and they happened to attack me she would be in a bit of trouble. They seemed to be
circling us and had separated from a group of three into individuals to my left, right and front. My
fiancée kept telling me that there was a sound near her side of the car of which I was on the opposite
side. She said that she had heard twigs snapping nearby and had seen a large shadow rise out of the
long grass in the darkness. At that point the bags were moved and she nearly ran me over getting the
car moving. We drove to a service station just outside of West Wyalong and I reported what I had seen to
a skeptical service station worker. I can only assume that we had inadvertently stumbled onto a group of
yowies scavenging the parking bay bins...."

No mention of any "hands on" physical interaction. That was why I have been questioning the story.

[paulmcleod67]

No worries hillbilly.

As I mentioned the injuries (other than my foot) were pretty superficial and I wasn't even sure they warranted publication.
My early and inexperienced focus in 2012 was logging a report containing the "where and when info" also my fiancee was nervy
about my posting personal images in fear of slander and personal embarrassment.

She only recently accepted that I needed to publish more detail, ( A public warning of a potential danger was my argument the time)
and when Mylene finaly started reading some of the missing persons cases (particularly William Tyrell and some of the missing children cases)
it was she that convinced me to start making missing persons video's simply because of the weird circumstances and being a mother herself.

As a father of three myself I certainly understood her POV.

Cheers mate and as I said feel free to phone me if you have any questions.

[Yowie bait]

Hi Paul. I believe your encounter but those re-enactment videos just confuse the issue. I can also see why maybe you got attacked. First mistake- getting out of the car!!

[Wolf]

My intention was, and still ,is to document my personal journey and my experiences as best I can to the public, but in my enthusiasm I seem to be alienating a community I turned to in 2012 for help and advice.

No alienation taking place mate.
This subject matter has more than its fair share of attention-seeking BS artists and members are naturally critical and healthily cynical.

As I have mentioned several times in several places... if someone is genuine they will understand the cynicism and not be offended by it.

There is nothing wrong with posting your 'research results' even if nothing significant is the result, people are interested in tactics, methods, etc. But as Hillbilly suggests, refrain from the natural urge to enhance videos and images, then post said enhanced image declaring it to be a positive result. The human mind will always see what it 'wants' to see. If you think you may have something, post it but do not make claims that it is what you believe you see.

Very few of us are scientists either, but most know evidence must be VERY convincing to hold any value of sigificance with this subject matter.

[Yowie bait]

Very true Wolf. We all need to put ourselves in the position of the non believer/ skeptic before reacting to negative comments about our experiences. If someone has had an encounter then they should ask themselves if they would believe it if told to them. Answer would probably be no!

Still hard not to get offended when someone accuses you of lying but should be expected.

[sensesonfire]

Whichever way you look at it Paul your Yowie experiences are a lesson to everybody that these are not benevolent creatures, if you're in their domain your life could be in danger at any time.

[paulmcleod67]

Hi Paul. I believe your encounter but those re-enactment videos just confuse the issue. I can also see why maybe you got attacked. First mistake- getting out of the car!!

Had to matey all our luggage was transferred to the front seats so we could get some road kip.
I got out and told Mylene to lock the doors whilst she moved the bags to the rear.
We had an Astra hatch, so not much room.

All in all a ton of dumb luck.
Cheers

[paulmcleod67]

Very true Wolf. We all need to put ourselves in the position of the non believer/ skeptic before reacting to negative comments about our experiences. If someone has had an encounter then they should ask themselves if they would believe it if told to them. Answer would probably be no!

Still hard not to get offended when someone accuses you of lying but should be expected.

general problem in attitude worldwide, that I assume we are all here to try and change?

It takes a fair amount of guts to be fully explicit relating this kind of experience, as much today as in colonial times
I suppose (Jeffcott the naturalist versus some museum goon who's name escapes me at the moment is a great example).

After a century and a half (give or take) of social engineering and gradual indoctrination into the politically correct, book
thumping, screen media addicted ,weak and meek society we have allowed ourselves to become, could do we stand in
the natural environment today?

In that inevitable world, (meaning when and not if it all runs out) when we are generations separated along and away
from our current padded nests of plastic junk, living with, in and around the brutal natural world, what opinion of the Bush ape then?

History repeats like it or not and the indigenous traditional stories of Dulagar and Yuwi of killings, kidnappings, rape and
horror in the night may come again.

Without the advantage of petroleum, fossil fuels and the mirage of security that truly limited and transient technologies
pretend to offer, how would we fare NOW, set adrift in a world were nature dictates the strong consume the weak and
ultimately life endlessly consumes itself to exist? What could Turnbull or any other of his ilk contribute with the spear,
the knife, the ax or the forge? The real world is physically brutal and even the strong can only prevail for a time.

In truth we have traded all our real world freedoms, our potential for strength and perhaps even altered our
evolutionary path, in exchange for modern beads and blankets, for little factoids on paper and screen, where what
is written by the indoctrinates ascertain your worth as a living being. Lies we have come to love, lies we compete
with each other to propagate....still lies all the same.

Short term social engineering orchestrated by the physically weakest the most kanieving and craven, greed driven
one percent of the population and our current ruination as a viable long term species on this world.

One day perhaps the Yowie will relate stories of "The little bald monkey" that hid in places of hollow stone and
talked into little squares of light. Would the story teller be believed I wonder?

1950's Hyde park Sydney on any Sunday: Under a shady tree and on top of a wooden crate an average bloke
shouts out to a listening crowd the woes of unfair and excessive government. Opinion grows and the country changes.

2017: A shady room near Hyde park Sydney a man watches graphic porn in a dark and poorly lit room.
Next door a woman is being killed by a drug affected man with paranoid delusions of her infidelity.
Their young child sits in it's own waste to withered to cry anymore and on their large, flat screen TV
the morning show hosts speak of how rosy the world would be if only you purchased a............

So yes I will tell my story and try and try and try. I can only become stronger with the truth.

Cheers matey

[Yowie bait]

Very true Wolf. We all need to put ourselves in the position of the non believer/ skeptic before reacting to negative comments about our experiences. If someone has had an encounter then they should ask themselves if they would believe it if told to them. Answer would probably be no!

Still hard not to get offended when someone accuses you of lying but should be expected.

general problem in attitude worldwide, that I assume we are all here to try and change?

It takes a fair amount of guts to be fully explicit relating this kind of experience, as much today as in colonial times
I suppose (Jeffcott the naturalist versus some museum goon who's name escapes me at the moment is a great example).

After a century and a half (give or take) of social engineering and gradual indoctrination into the politically correct, book
thumping, screen media addicted ,weak and meek society we have allowed ourselves to become, could do we stand in
the natural environment today?

In that inevitable world, (meaning when and not if it all runs out) when we are generations separated along and away
from our current padded nests of plastic junk, living with, in and around the brutal natural world, what opinion of the Bush ape then?

History repeats like it or not and the indigenous traditional stories of Dulagar and Yuwi of killings, kidnappings, rape and
horror in the night may come again.

Without the advantage of petroleum, fossil fuels and the mirage of security that truly limited and transient technologies
pretend to offer, how would we fare NOW, set adrift in a world were nature dictates the strong consume the weak and
ultimately life endlessly consumes itself to exist? What could Turnbull or any other of his ilk contribute with the spear,
the knife, the ax or the forge? The real world is physically brutal and even the strong can only prevail for a time.

In truth we have traded all our real world freedoms, our potential for strength and perhaps even altered our
evolutionary path, in exchange for modern beads and blankets, for little factoids on paper and screen, where what
is written by the indoctrinates ascertain your worth as a living being. Lies we have come to love, lies we compete
with each other to propagate....still lies all the same.

Short term social engineering orchestrated by the physically weakest the most kanieving and craven, greed driven
one percent of the population and our current ruination as a viable long term species on this world.

One day perhaps the Yowie will relate stories of "The little bald monkey" that hid in places of hollow stone and
talked into little squares of light. Would the story teller be believed I wonder?

1950's Hyde park Sydney on any Sunday: Under a shady tree and on top of a wooden crate an average bloke
shouts out to a listening crowd the woes of unfair and excessive government. Opinion grows and the country changes.

2017: A shady room near Hyde park Sydney a man watches graphic porn in a dark and poorly lit room.
Next door a woman is being killed by a drug affected man with paranoid delusions of her infidelity.
Their young child sits in it's own waste to withered to cry anymore and on their large, flat screen TV
the morning show hosts speak of how rosy the world would be if only you purchased a............

So yes I will tell my story and try and try and try. I can only become stronger with the truth.

Cheers matey

All anyone can do is tell the truth about their encounter and if no one wants to believe it then its to be expected and youve done your bit. If you think you can prevent others from danger by discussing it publicly then thats admirable and you are a caring individual.

Others can discuss it and debunk it , backstab or whatever but it doesnt change the very real fact that it happened and these things are truly out there doing their thing as theyve always done in the Aussie bush.

Theres been some accounts from what i would consider the top guys in this field and no one seems to listen to them either which is a real shame and round and round we go with the same questions and threads again and again.

Same with the Aboriginal lore. Completely ignored by most unless it fits with their agenda.

What i found was ironic is that i noticed my gif from the forum is part of the Google search for " junjudee photos". This is hilarious as its totally inconclusive. Still its the best one on there..lol!

[paulmcleod67]

A theory I've been working on that might explain the huge increase of Yowie sightings in the modern era.
It also seems to gel with certain missing persons cases that happen in or near urban areas, situated around national park lands.

Cheers

Que really big graphic.....

[paulmcleod67]

New Graphics to illustrate my idea of impact induced crustal displacement of the earths tectonic plates.

I'm researching Lake Victoria in Africa as a potentially large impact site, which may have rapidly displaced the Australian continent from Antarctica.

Why?

Because I've had encounters with an officially unrecognized upright, humanoid, hairy primate, living in the Australian bush.

In my case it was not a happy encounter, so I thought I'd better warn someone or everyone....

Alas the officialdom will not hear of it because (according to them) there could never be an archaic upright hairy primate
living in Australia period. (period, period?)

Why not?

Something called the Wallace line, a theory created in 1859 by a couple of (SCIENCE TOLD ME!!) noodle heads.

It goes like this....

"The Wallace Line or Wallace's Line is a faunal boundary line drawn in 1859 by the British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace
and named by Thomas Henry Huxley, that separates the ecozones of Asia and Wallacea, a transitional zone between
Asia and Australia.

The line runs through Indonesia, between Borneo and Sulawesi (Celebes), and through the Lombok Strait between Bali and Lombok.
The distance between Bali and Lombok is small, about 35 kilometres (22 mi). The distributions of many bird species observe the line,
since many birds do not cross even the shortest stretches of open ocean water. Some bats have distributions that cross the line, but
larger terrestrial mammals are generally limited to one side or the other; exceptions include macaques, pigs and tarsiers on Sulawesi.
Other groups of plants and animals show differing patterns, but the overall pattern is striking and reasonably consistent".

As you can image it's quite frustrating to be TOLD categorically that monkeys can not, and indeed never could get to Australia via Asia by
means of migration. Well bugger me while a Dingo steals my baby eh?

So what were those eight foot tall, hairy, menacing beings that ruined my night in West Wyalong in 2012?... Humphrey B bear I suppose?

Well lets see if there could be some other means of geological explaining them being stranded here?

Why bother you say?

Because they are here and they have been here(according to Aboriginal elders) longer than our own Original peoples, whom themselves arrived here
60'000 years ago...amazingly under their own steam...incredible.

FYI Papua New Guinea is accessible via tiny tin boat and under sweaty man power from the far North coast of Australia if your keen
enough, so why not?

The only other two viable explanations for their presence in Australia are that they, arrived with the Roo's only about 10 million years ago
or alternately there was another viable land bridge that they crossed, of which said land bridge no longer exists.

Oh and the boffins think thousands of Australian eyewitness encounters and reports are (A) Rampant liars or
(B) Wouldn't know their own dog if it bit them.

Hmm bit of a problem for the constipated if you ask me?

Well if Mohamed won't come to the mountain....The mountain must come to Mohamed.

Antarctica was Joined to Australia for a very very long time so maybe they they arrived here then?

Errmmm, no because, Australia divorced Antarctica 85 million years ago...old boy, everyone knows it.

So why are there navigational maps , hundreds of years old and copied from even older maps, showing not only Australia joined to
Antarctica but the Antarctic continent it'self was depicted ice free?

Hey how about that Charles Hapgood fellow?

No old boy he was as wiggy as a loon.

Didn't Eisenstein himself write an approving forward for Hapgoods book on Crustal displacement?

Yes old boy but we have Hawkings work now, Albert had hair problems so we stopped "liking him

Hey....what about if, the old map details were correct (if not poorly copied) and Antarctica was ice free in the near historical past?

Pishtosh I say old boy..there is no proof...I tell you there is no proof!!!

Well why is it that every continent that was connected to Antarctica via Pangea and has giant hairy
monsters reportedly living in isolated area's?

Old boy... you are wasting your life with this nonsense. Why don't you go make selfies with a new screenapple on facebookthumbnose
like the rest of us...now shutup and eat all that s#@t we fed you? Now go and clean my toilet I tell you!!!

Umm?...Nah mate Id rather find out what that thing that tried to grab my misses was and maybe warn a few people about it eh? See yah Mr Percival.

I am paraphrasing of course.




Cheers

[paulmcleod67]

WARNING HUMOROUS BUT GROSSLY POLITICALLY INCORRECT POST FOLLOWS
IF EASILY OFFENDED PLEASE DO NOT READ (IF NOT JUMP IN)

I have a writing exercise that I use to break concentration block which involves writing down random rhyming words
then creating something out of them. Once in a while something funny evolves out of them.
This was one that I though might provide a chuckle or two for the members here.

Its not even close to being on topic here but hey we all need a little crass humour every now and then.

POST FOLLOWS


LOVE HURTS
(THE GRASS CUTTERS LAMENT)

A work of satire only and no offense
is intended or implied

PAUL JOHN MCLEOD
2017
YOU WALKED INTO MY WORLD THAT DAY
AND ALL THE ANGELS DIED OF SHAME
A WAVE OF WONDER STRUCK ME
SO HARD I LOST MY MIND
DEEP POOLS OF BLUE RELECTION
WARMTH AS YOU GLIDE BY

LIKE SUNSHINE BREATHING FIRE
LIKE THUNDER BREATHING RAIN
THIS BEAUTY SENT FROM GOD TO ME
A LOVE WITH NO REFRAME
THAT PEARLY SMILE YOU GIFT TO ME
WITH RADIANCE THAT BLINDS

BUT THEN YOU SIDDLED UP TO ME
AND WHISPERED IN MY EAR
YOU’RE VOICE LIKE SILK LIKE SILVER
SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE
IN THOSE WORDS YOU SPOKE TO ME
YOU TOLD ME OF MY DESTINY
OF LOVE THAT WE WOULD FIND

AND IN A TIME OF LOVE AND FOOLS
YOU FILLED MY HEART WITH GOLD
I DRANK YOUR GAZES DEEPLY IN
AND FELL SO FAST LIKE SILKEN AND SNOW
AT YOUR FIRST TOUCH MY WORLD EXPLODED
MY HEART FROM THEN WAS BOUND TO YOU
IT SHOWED IT SHOWED IT SHOWED

THOSE DAYS OF LOVE HAVE WILTED NOW
AND MELTED LIKE THE SNOW
TELL ME LOVER ONCE OF MINE
WHEN DID THE LOVE TRAIN GO?

I STILL RECALL MY ENDING COME
THAT STORMY STORMY NIGHT
YOU PICKED WITH ME A SILLY FIGHT
AND TURNED WITH CLOUD AND THUNDER
AND ON YOUR NECK LIKE ROSES RED
THE MARKINGS OF A MAN

YOUR SECRET LIFE I SAW THAT NIGHT
THE PLANS YOU MADE REVEALED
AND WHEN HIS CAR PULLED UP OUTSIDE
I SAW its LIGHTS
FLASHED ONCE THEN TWICE
THE LOOK UPON YOUR FACE

THEN OUT OF THE BLUE
AND FROM BEYOND
NOT PLACES I HAD KNOW
YOU CALLED ME NAMES
ABUSED MY DOG AND SAID I WAS INSAINE
SHOCKED AND STUNNED AND HALF AWAKE
I WATCHED YOU WALK AWAY

BUT AS YOU WALKED
YOU FAULTERED ONCE
AND STOPPED AND TURNED AROUND
AND WITH A GAZE T'WOULD TO KILL A CAT
A SNARLING VOICE I HEARD

"I TOOK ALL YOUR MONEY HONEY
AND THERS NOTHING LEFT
I EVEN TOOK YOUR MONEY BOX
YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS ARE DEAD
SO NOW I’M GOING HOME TO HIM
THE MAN I LOVE IN BED
AND DID I MENTION THAT YOU KNOW HIM
ACTUALY QUITE WELL
HE'S YOUR BEST MATE SINCE WAY BACK WHEN
THE TWO OF YOU IN SCHOOL".

THE LOOK I SEEN REMAINS IN ME
IT CHILLS ME TO THE BONE
THE LOVE REPLACED INSTEAD AT HASTE
HER RUNNING OFF WITH MY BEST MATE
THEM ROBBING EVERYTHING I MAKE
AND LEAVING ME ALONE

EMPTY HEARTS REACH OUT IN VAIN
CONVERSATIONS FULL OF PAIN
THEY SPEAK OF LOVE TO SILENCE
A NUMBNESS CREEPING IN MY BRAIN
MY HEART NOW BROKEN FULL OF PAIN
I TURN AND WALK THAT EMPTY PLAIN
ENGULPHED BY MIST AND RAINS
THE TRUST I HAD NOW BROKE AND BAD
IT'S HARD TO STAND I BEND THEN SAG
MY BACK IT HURTS SO MUCH SO BAD
IT'S HALF THE CUTLREY DRAW I SEE
HANGING THERE FROM OUT OF ME
PROTRUDING FROM MY BACK AND NUTS
TOO MANY KNIVES TO COUNT I SEE
I THINK IVE HAD ENOUGH

IN MY WAKE AND PAST MISTAKES
THE THINGS THAT I HAVE LEARNED
NEVER AGAIN WILL I REMAIN
WHERE SHATTERED DREAMS ABOUND
AND FROM HERE OUT
I'LL DWELL IN DOUBT
AVOIDING ALL THIS PAIN
TILL KINGDOM COME AND LOVE IS DONE
BRING DARK AND STORMY NIGHTS
THIS IS MY REALM AND I REMAIN
TILL DEATH'S DEEP SLEEP ARRIVES.

BEFORE I GO I'LL TELL YOU SO
A SECRET OF MY OWN
I DIDN'T LET HER HAVE THIS ONE
BUT NOW THE WORLD WILL KNOW
SHE LEFT ME COLD I KNOW I KNOW
BUT STUPID I AM NOT
I HAVE THREE BROTHERS THAT ARE COPS
ANOTHER IN THE GOVERNMENT
AND HER ADDRESS THEY KNOW

THEY GIVE HER LOTS OF WARNING FINES
AND THEN THEY FOLLOW HER AROUND
THEY TELL HER NIEBOURS SHE HATES WOGS
THEN TELL THE ONES ACCROSS THE ROAD
SHE HATED FAGGOTS, DOGS, THE OLD
THEY SAID SHE WAS A PEDOPHILE
A THEIF, A JUNKIE, AN ICE HEAD MOLE
THEY SAID SHE SHOT THAT PRESIDENT
FROM BEHIND THE GRASSY KNOLL
BUT EVEN THIS WAS NOT ENOUGH
TO STEM THE RELLIES ANGER
THEY SAID SHE WAS THE ANTI CHRIST
AND THAT SHE POISONED BIRDS
AND FISH AND CATS AND GUINEA PIGS AS WELL
BUT WORSE THAN THAT SHE WAS A RAT
THEY SAID SHE WAS A GREEN
SHE NEVER WORKED FROM THAT DAY ON
GOT EVICTED FROM HER HOME
NOW ON THE STREET SHE FINDS HER FEET
AND ON AND ON THEY ROAM
THE ONLY GOOD THING IN HER LIFE
SHE HAD A TENT TO OWN.

AND HIM ONE DAY THEY DRAGGED AWAY
AND BASHED AND BEAT HIM HALF THE DAY
THE OTHER HALF THEY TAZED AWAY
NON LETHAL FUN SO I'TS OK
MY YOUNGER BROTHER HAD A LAUGH
AT FIFTY WIRES SENDING SPARKS
TO FIFTY BARBS STUCK IN HIS ARSE
THIS FELLOW WASNT HAPPY
HIS FLAT GOT RAIDED
HIS STUFF ALL SOLD
THEY EVEN TOOK HIS TOILET ROLL
AND ON THE NEWS THEY CLAIMED A WIN
PROCEEDS OF CRIME SO DO NOT SIN
THEY SHOT HIS CAT TOO FAT TOO FAT
HIS GOLDFISH TO THEY LEFT THE FLAT
ALOUGH HE LIVED SOME STORIES UP
THESE FISH WERE TRAINED I HEARD A CLAIM
AS SOMEONE SAW THEM FLIGH
A LANDING BETTER THEY HAD SEEN
AS FISH DONT LAND TO WELL IT SEEMS
BUT FINISH WITH A SPLATT

AND SHE WILL NEVER BE WITH HIM
BUT IN THE CELL HE'S FINE
THEY CHUCKED HIM IN WITH TALABAN
AND CHOPPED HIS COCK AND BRANDED HIM
THEN LABELED HIM ANOTHER THING
SOMETHING CALLED SEMETIC

ANOTHER JOB SHE CAN NOT KEEP
THE BILLS ARE PILING UP IN HEAPS
AND TO THIS DAY SHE WALKS IN RAIN
SHE WALKS IN SUN AND SNOW
SHE WALKS HER ASS OFF EVERYWHERE
HER CAR DEFECTED YET AGAIN
I CANNOT SWEAR I DID NOT KNOW
MY OTHER BROTHER TOLD ME SO
HE RUNS A PLACE CALLED CENTRELINK
HER APPLICATIONS HE DELETES
AND PUTS ON FILE THAT SHE'S A CHEAT
AND WHEN SHE WENT OUT TO THE GOAL
TO SEE HER BASHED AND BROKEN MALE
THEY PLANTED DRUGS RIGHT UP HER BUTT
SHE WASN'T LOOKING FAIR ENOUGH
THEN PUT HER OUT IN FRONT OF DOGS
WHO SNIFFED AND SNIFFED
THEN SNIFFED AGAIN
ALL SNIFFING AT HER CROTCH
SO TO THE STATION SHE WAS TAKEN
THERE TO BE INTERERGATED
BY THE BROTHER WHO MOST HATES HER
WHOM IM TOLD ON THREE OCCAISIONS
SEARCHED HER BODY FOR MORE DRUGS
THIS HE DID WITH CHILDISH GRIN
USING WHAT HE HAD WITH HIM
ALIGATOR CLIPS AND CLAMPS
A HOSE AND PHONE BOOK HE DID HAVE
AND FROM THIS HELL IN TIME SHE WALKED
THEN TRIED TO CALL AN UBER BLOKE
BUT THEN IT RAINED WHICH TURNED TO HAIL
AND THERE SHE WAS OUTSIDE THE GOAL
WHEN UP HE ROAD BESIDE HER CAME
A BIKER GANG WITH COUSIN SHANE
ON CHOPPER CYCLES LOOKING ROUGH
WITH TWENTY MATES ALL ON THE PUFF
SADLY THOUGH THIS IS THE END
I KNOW NOT WHAT BECAME OF THEM

AND THOUGH THE MORAL OF THIS STORY
MAY NOT BE ONE FILLED WITH GLORY
IN THE TELLING OF THE STORY
THIS WILL JUST SUFFICE
TO WARN TO TEACH TO TELL THE PEEPS
GRASS CUTTING MEANS TO CUT THE GRASS
TO MOW TO HEDGE TO CLEAN THE YARD
NOT ROOT YOUR BEST MATES WIFE.

[paulmcleod67]

DEFINITIONS DIGESTED

FACT: Information used as evidence.
EVIDENCE: The available body of facts.
TRUTH: A fact that is accepted as real.
REAL: A thing occurring in fact
HONEST: To persuade someone of the truth.
WRONG: Not correct as truth
RIGHT: True or correct as fact.
CORRECT: Evidence in accordance with fact or truth.
INCORRECT: Not in accordance with facts or evidence
AUTHENTIC: Truth, based on facts and evidence.
CONSISTENT: In accordence with factual evidence.
NONSENSE: Spoken or written words that are not fact,
not evidence or truth, not real,
not honest, wrong, not right
never correct, Incorrect , authentic drivel
consistent nonsense.
AND THESE ARE THE FACTS !

[Tuckeroo]

Hi Paul, You obviously express your self honestly in these posts.
In the past I've read some interesting things that you have written.
Sometimes a bit wordy and other times well researched and interesting.

I was going to click away when I saw your recent post, the great junks
of capital text was something my eye didn’t want to get involved in.

So I ended up reading it as you wrote it; I’ve seen the stream of consciousness
thing before; I don’t know whether it’s you or somebody else ?

You could keep the gems and boil it down into a poem; a few good lines
there looking for a stanza.
I suppose many have seen their ex walking down the drive and then getting
into the passenger side, always the passenger side.

Makes me wonder if the ‘fiancée’ at West Wyalong made it to Tivoli.
Yes the Grass Cutters Lament starts out with ‘spade work’.
Why did you describe the piece as ‘grossly politically incorrect’ ?

T.

[Dion]

I do not wish to intrude

But the Poem is rather is it not and has nothing to do with Yowies other than to get back at an ex?

Please clarify?