DONT GO DOWN THE PILIGA

[hunter hunted]

I camped at the Piliga and cooked up a stew
Camped there with my old dog blue
I said to blue lets go hunt some ducks
So I grab the shotgun from the back seat of the truck
I heard a noise among the river red gums
Then old blue started to run
I heard a strange noise ,a funny howling sound
So I opened the shotgun and stuck in two rounds
The moon was full and shining bright
I heard a crashing coming towards me in the bush that night
Well the trees where crashing to the ground
There was somethingbehind me so i turned around
And there was this hairy thing with big red eyes and big red lips
And this hairy thing was female
For it had big hairy tits
Well i bolted through the bush in the dark
Then i heard old blue ,he started to bark
There was blue sitting in the truck on the back seat
And i said ,what is that smell ,what is that stink
From the back of the truck came this big hairy bitch
Big hairy lips and great big hairy tits
Well she puckered her lips
And did a strange dance with her feet
Oh no I said ,the bitch is on heat
I could not shoot her
She is probably the last of her kind
So from behind the back seat i grabbed two glass,s and a cask of wine
Then the hairy thing and i got drunk that night
Beneath the full moons radiant light
You know what it is like when you drink too much wine
The girl at the end of the bar gets better looking all the time
The next thing I knew ,the sun was coming up
And there was blue asleep in the truck
Dont ask me what happened that night
I was so drunk i dont know
And if you go down the Piliga
Hunting or just for fun
And you see a little hairy man
DONT SHOOT IT COULD BE MY SON.......

By Cedric carkeet 01/03/10

[Dion]

Hey there Hunter Huntered

Nice poem I had a little chuckle at the end of it, thanks for sharing and welcome to the Forums.

[forestguy]

Bit terrifying though... should come with a warning.

I'm just going to scrub the back of my eyes with steel wool, get rid of the images in my brain.

[AL Pitman]

I have seen some children in western new south wales that answer that description I was sure that they were their own granfathers but the Yowie theory is plausible , it just goes to prove that alcohol was invented for ugly people and there are definately no ugly people arfter 3.00 am .. good one keep em coming ......




MY FINAL DECISION IS MAYBE ...........

[Shazzoir]

In the 80's, I used to follow a Brisbane band named 'Rusty and the Ayers Rockettes'. Lead singer Rusty, used to sing a great song originally performed by Bobby Bare, called "I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman (but I sure woke up with a few)"

I've served my time losing track of the wine
Looking through red eyes at the blues
Holdin' on 'til the very last song
Tryin' to make up my mind who to choose.

Chasing a dream in a whisky world
Down the neon avenue
And I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

Ain't it funny how liquor and the flicker of a candle
Make you see it from a different view
Oh, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

I've met more than one morning lyin' there
Groanin', cryin', "Lord what did I do?"
Hangin' my head as I slipped from her bed
Tryin' hard not to leave any clues.

When I start out the evening I'm being selective
But I'll take anything after two
No, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

Ain't it funny how liquor and the flicker of a candle
Make you see it from a different view
Oh, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

No, I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few...


Oh, the memories of my youth! LOL!

Shazz

[Ella]

Oh, Shazz, that poem (or song lyrics) is every bit as good as "Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother", by Jerry Jeff Walker (from Texas, of course), back in the 1970s. It's a work of genius, I gotta tell you. That poem/song lyrics sounds so Texan to me.....superb!