...being such a concerned citizen regarding people's safety and general well being...I thought that I would be gracious enough and see fit in posting some simple home remedies regarding looking after yourselves in emergency situations...here goes...
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS ..
...aaaaaah!!!...my work is done!!...take care...Stickyfingers.
Reegs wrote:Some interesting advice there Sticky...but I have to say the "Daily Thought"... ...pure gold!...Cheers
...no worries Reegs my friend... that's just the kind of sharing and caring type of guy that I am!!!... and YES!.... the "daily thought"... is gold!... cheers... Stickyfingers.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
This is sooo Aussie- i love it!
To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says:"Leave no stone unturned."
Edward Bulwer Lytton
...again... because I am such a caring and sharing person... I thought that I would share some more tips with you to help you get through life in general... for instance... to keep you out of trouble with the sweet wife... here are a few tips on what NOT to say or do to upset the sweet lady of the house ...
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
====================================================================== My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds.'
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something
more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I
watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was
gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as
well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right, and the other is the husband.
...well what can I say???... gosh I'm a top guy!!!!... are you concerned about baldness?... easy... rub cow pooh onto your head!... want to cure your pimples?... easy... mix puppy blood with white wine and rub it onto your pimples!... suffering from stuttering?... look at this link and you will have all the answers that you need!!!...
...some of the replies below the remedies are equally amazing!!!... there you go boys and girls... uncle Sticky continues to look after your personal welfare and well being!!!... gosh!!!!... what a nice guy I am!!!!... take care my little lovelies!!!!... cheers... Stickyfingers.
...here I am again... it's Uncle Sticky looking after you sweet people with even more wordly advice!!! ... this is for all the guys to help stop you saying the wrong thing by not seeing the signs that you are about to be in some deep schitt!!!! ...so here you go my friends...
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to # 3.
...well there you go guys... use this information wisely!!!... then have a cold beer for Uncle Sticky for being such a concerned citizen!!!... cheers... Stickyfingers.
...
that long?'
... this is for all the guys to help stop you saying the wrong thing by not seeing the signs that you are about to be in some deep schitt!!!! 
...so here you go my friends...